Want to know? Oh, you don't!

I am screaming behind

But no one can listen that

I am shattered inside

But no one can feel that

 

Posing a smile outside

Everyone can see that

What’s behind that?

Want to know?

Oh, you don’t!

 

Howling around

Is not who I am

But who I am?  

Want to know?

Oh, you don’t!

 

Words unsaid

Things undone

Gonna hurt till rest

What were the words?

What were the things?

Want to know?

Oh, you don’t!

The night will pass...

As the sun sets

Birds went to nest

Some get to their homes

Some are left

Moon is near

So nothing to fear

Stay here

Or move there

The darkness won’t last

The night will pass

I was just wondering mohabbat kia hai?

Mohabbat apnay nafas ko marnay ka naam hai, apni khushi ko dosray ke khushi per foqiyat daenay ka naam hai. Mohabat apnay apko chord ker dosray ke wajood mai mil janay ka naam hai. Mohabat khud se upar uth janay ka naam hai. Mohabat Allah ke insan se hai jo etnay gunah kernay k bad b uske duaon ko sunta hai, mohabat maa ke apni ulaad se hai jo raaton ko uth ker apni nafarman ulad ke salamati k liye duaiyen mangti hai. Mohabat nabiyon ke apnay Malik se hai jo USke raza k liye ek khwab deakh ker b sar qalam kernay ko tayar hain. Mohabat es kainat mai majood her us shaie ke apnay Khaliq-e-haqiqi se hai jo roz-o-shab Uske tasbeeh mai mashghool hain. 

Mohabat ek rishta hai, asa rishta jsko khud se bala tar hoker socha jaye tou wo saaf hai mager ager us mai apni zaat ko shamil ker lia jaye tou wo dhundla jata hai q k jahan mohabat ho wahan apni zaat, ana ka kia kaam? 

Aj kal ke duniya mai jahan bhai bhai ka nahe aur ulaad maa baap ke nahe, wahan hum ager logon mai mohabat talash kernay lagayen gaye tou hum es duniya k bhanwar mai aesay phas jayen gae k jab sambhalnay k liye uthna chaihen gaye tou aur phas jayen gae. Es nafsa nafsi k alam mai apnay Rab se mohabat he ker le jaye aur usko nibah lenay ke koshsh kr lae jaye tou he insan ko samajna chaiye k us ne apni kamyabi ke taraf pehla qadam utha lia.

Aj kal k dour mai ksae ek insan dosray insan se mohabat ker sakta? Ana k libas mai liptay ye bani nooh insan sirf khud se mohabat kertay hain. Insanon se mohabat her tarah se ghatay ka sodah hai q k jo b ho her chez ka ikhtam wahan he hona hai jo Meray Rab ne apnay bandhon k liye likh chora hai. Apnay apko apnay Khuda k naam krdo phir deakho her bigardi ban jaye gaye, her uljhan sulaj jaye gaye, her mutahji mukh jaye gaye. 

"Ek teri chahat hai, ek meri chahat hai, hoga woe jo meri chahat hai. Ager kiya tu ne hawalay usk jo meri chahat hai tou mai tujhe wo b don ga jo teri chahat mager kiya khilaf tou ne usk jo meri chahat hai tou main thaka don ga tujhe us mai jo teri chahat hai mager phir b hoga wohe jo meri chahat hai."

Journey of my silence

I have everyone 
But I have no one

I look behind in search of support 
There I saw bunch of people
They are there
But they are not

Fake,
Shameless,
Self-centered 
Are people am surrounded with

No ray of hope
No new dawn
No glimpse of light
I see so forth so far

I cried 
I yelled
I screamed
 Searching serenity
Searching myself
Searching composure
But could not find it...

All I had was
Deceit 
Treachery
Falsity

I am tired now
I accepted my defeat
I lost the battle

So,
I preferred silence
Because I know
My words, my actions, my opinions
Are not worth wasting...!!

The Bird of My Garden

Spreading her wings stirring

She struggled, she laughed, she cried, she loved

But could not find serenity

She learned the realities of life in short span

Sometimes she became stressful, and asks me:

“Why life is not the way we wish it to be?”

I do not have the answer to her question, so I just say:

“Do not worry, one day the life will give what you deserve”

But I know my answer did not satisfy her

That time I just use to pray that

May my bird get what she wishes for!!

One day another bird from another garden came in her life

My bird soon became fond of her

That day I cried a lot because I knew I have lost my bird now

Her thoughts, her ideas, her feelings are someone’s else now

But I was glad in her happiness

She finally got what she dreams of all her life

A peaceful, happy and blissful life

After that my bird seldom talks, lost in the dreams of coming life

She forgot her actual existence

And then the ultimate day came

My bird wearing reet ka jora, blushing like a fresh red rose

Making everyone jealous of her exquisiteness

Spreading colors like the first ray of dawn

She flew to the place where she belongs

March 31, 2012 was not the biggest day on calendar

But was surely biggest day of my life

Thinking of all the good reminiscences

I do not know when the moon disappears and sun began to shine

But I know one thing that this new dawn of my bird’s life

Will surely bring happiness in her life

But

Listen Listen!!

Oh my bird!!

Life gave you what you always longed for

It gave you much more than you prayed for

But

Oh my little bird!!

Do not forget the gardeners of your old garden

As may be your world has changed but their world still revolves around you

And remember they always loved you, will continue to do that

Dedicated to my best friend, my mentor, my sister Naila Sial (Chenoo) :)

Inquiring changes life

Sitting alone, thinking and looking to myself. Is that it what I wanted from life? Studying constantly for last two and half year in search of good grades, and actually I did succeed in that but I hardly remember anything I learnt in first semester. First semester is far, I hardly remember much from my previous semester not because I am suffering from some psychological disorder of short term or long term memory issue (well secretly I do think this way sometimes) but issue is not with my brain, issue is with my way of thinking and way of  approaching things. Sometimes when I discuss this issue with my elders, they say it happens with everyone so no need to worry about. But if some issue is prevailing from ages, does it exclude from being an issue? Absolutely not.

Its the approach of life that makes us different from others. Nothing is actually good or bad but thinking makes it so- A famous saying by Shakespeare, requires great intellect to understand it properly. I want to change my approach about life, I want to question things, I want to ask stupid questions that may does not make sense to others but it does puzzle me so I do need their answers (most of the times when I ask questions people see my face making weird faces as If I have just asked them to donate their kidney to me :p but they just ignore me by saying its just a stupid question) I want to think differently, I want to inquire things, I do not want to believe in anything blindly. I do believe in Allah but not until I have read it in Quran, not until I have felt the presence of ALLAH around me (by my this idea many people may find it offended and may be some maullah will give fatwa on me as well but I think that is what Quran teaches us to do, inquire and then believe).

That was bit out of way to my discussion but question arises why I am talking about questioning and inquiring and everything. The answer lies within it, If I had questioned from the very first day of my learning then my concepts would be clear but clearing concepts is not what taught us since the start of our academic life, its getting good grades which matters. So, I just keep on doing that and today I have nothing in my mind, seriously nothing its empty. I have lost my focus because cramming everything does not need focusing but understanding does.

But now I decided to change my approach, I am going to question things, I will ask the weirdest questions no matter others laugh or get annoyed at me. Because now I will understand things not just learn them to get some good GPA in batch as by this I will get inner satisfaction that yeah I have done something productive in life, I have actually achieved something. I have start practising it and things are definitely changing for me. I hope to change as person by adopting simple rule in my life i.e. inquire then believe. 

Brother

If ever I need a hand to support me
He is there to lend me his shoulder

If ever I am feeling low, 
He is there to cheer me up

If ever I am feeling complexed, 

He gives me enough courage to shred off all that fears

If ever I need someone to share my weirdest thoughts, 
He is there to listen them

If ever I make a mistake, 
He is there to teach me

If ever I need to gossip,
He is there to accompany me

If ever I burst myself into tears, 
He is there to make me smile

If ever I can do anything for him, 
I think my this life will not be enough to return his love